Whats Your Love Language? (Check out the 5 basic Love Languages in this post and discover yours)

The words "Love language" is a term you have probably never heard about. Yet it is a very vital and important aspect of any relationship that can have an impact on its success or failure.

People would naturally give love in the way they prefer to receive it (no doubt about that). But then has it ever occurred to you that your spouse may not decode, understand and connect to your gesture of love the same way you feel they should because it is a love language that the recipient does not understand? 

These differences but most importantly the ignorance of a spouse's love language has destroyed many homes and relationships as both parties have concluded that they were simply incompatible when all they really needed was to simply observe each other's love language and have an "open and honest communication" on the best way they could easily communicate their love to each other in a manner they would leave them both happy and emotionally fulfilled.

• So what exactly is this thing called love language?
  
  Your love language can simply be defined as the way or manner in which you prefer to receive love. Personally, I term it the specific type of actions or in-actions you receive from your spouse that can or would only make you feel truly loved, cared for and emotionally fulfilled and vice versa for the other person involved. 
  
  
  So below are the five (5) basic love languages:
• Acts of service
• Words of affirmation
• Receiving gifts
• Physical touch
• Quality time together

You should after this post be able to clearly discern your love language and that of your spouse. Make no mistake, this could be the solution to that tension in your home. So how exactly do this love languages practically come into play?

• Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation:
  

A husband's love language may be act of service and he would show his love for his wife by doing the laundry and doing the dishes as often as possible for her but would end up confused when he does the laundry and she doesn't perceive it as an act of love but only comes it as him performing household duties because the love language she comprehends is Words of Affirmation (Verbal Affirmation that he loves her, cares for her, is crazy about her and would never leave her as often as possible).

Similarly, she may try using what she values (words of Affirmation) to express her love to him which he would not value as much as she does. If only she would clearly understand his major love language  as Acts of Service and mow the lawn for him for example, only then can he fully perceive it in his own love language as an act of her love for him. She may buy all the gifts in the world for him continuously if she feels that is his major love language but he may just never feel as loved as he would have felt if she proofed her love for him via Acts of Service i.e mowing the lawn.

• Receiving Gifts:
  
   If a lady is however hooked up with a gift lover (a man who feels and understands the expression of love by getting surprise gifts and occasions) and she is able to give him gifts as often as possible as an act of her love, he would be much more happy and emotionally fulfilled than if she majorly uses Words of Affirmation with him. 

• Physical Touch, Quality Time Together:   

  
  Does your spouse feel really loved and happy when you both hug, hold hands or physically express your affection for him or her? Then chances are that his or her major love language is that of physical touch.
  
  
  Similarly, a lady that craves quality time together with you maybe once or twice a week will never be really happy if all you do is send gift delivery to her office weekly and only arrange for time together once in four months. 
  
  
  
  You just would never understand her frustration when she tells you she doesn't feel loved when you have given your very best from the bottom of your heart.

   
  • What are the Cons of not knowing your partner's love language?
  A wife that understand the love language of "words of affirmation" and " Quality time together" would never really connect and feel loved by her man who is always just buying the groceries or always busy making repairs around the house to proof his love (Act of Service).

  

  There is a high probability that she may seek that tenderness and emotional intimacy from a man outside the home if she is not well disciplined.
  • So how then can I know my partner's love language?
  Personally, I think you should seek to understand your partner's love language and try to prioritize that particular one or two languages amongst the other types when expressing your love to him or her.
  
   
  
  Try to observe how they express love to others and also analyze what they complain about almost often and what they request most often from you, friends or family.
  
  
  After all, love should be about giving, giving, giving and then receiving.
  
  
  So what's your own love language and in what way has it affected your relationships with others? Feel free to share in the comment session. I would really love to hear from you.