This Thing Called Open Marriage and Open Parenting

Wow...it's been really difficult picking a title for this post. Well, I would be sharing my view on the concept of open marriage and open parenting. In fact 80% of parents, individuals may not directly agree with my view on open parenting and open marriage. But I feel it is a concept that needs to be integrated into every family as it contains immerse benefits that would help build up future homes. 

Enough said though. So what then is open parenting and open marriage in this context?

Well, simply put, open marriage and parenting is a concept were by parents openly run the affairs of their marriage and home in front of their kids when they have attained a certain age while parenting them so they can learn for their own future homes. 

I know this sounds a bit strange, yes...it's something we are not used to. In fact I have heard over and over again were by couples are told not to run affairs of the home openly in front of their children. Personally, I think this mentality is something that had greatly increased the rate of marriage failure in our nation. 

How you may ask?

Well, many young adults who are product of their parents marriages reach marriageable age and get married with little or no knowledge on how to act and what to do when pressures and challenges in their own union set in once they get married. 

I feel our parents marriage and home should be a training ground or school for young adults to actually be prepared or shown a path for success before writing their own exams ( running their own homes) as they approach that period of their life.

But unfortunately for us, society encourages our parents to discuss in secret vital issues which would build their children for their own future homes. In fact this same parents come first in encouraging their grown kids to start their homes once they are of age whilst this young adults have been left ill equipped of the diverse ways and manners to handle challenges when the going gets tough in their homes. 

No doubt, anyone can act all rosy when things are smooth which is what children get to see their parents display in the living room everyday...lol...but do they expose this kids to the techniques they use in solving tough crisis when these crisis stare at them so that somehow, wherever their kids may be in the house; be it the bedroom or toilet, This kids can subconsciously and practically  hear and learn the vital secrets of handling issues they would most likely face when we they start their homes? (Of course I am not oblivious of the fact that there would be some cats that shouldn't be let out of the bag...but I feel that parents should be able to discern properly).

So did you ever get to see and know how your mum handled the situation at a time when your Dad had only 1000 Naira to give her to buy food for the next three days? Where you able to see her actions and the repercussion of her actions (good or bad) and also discern whether she handled the situation well or not and then finally make a decision if you would like to pick up that character should in-case you face such a trying period in your home in the future as a lady?

Or was such issues discussed out of your reach and you have no idea that such trying periods may come?

Did you ever witness how your parents handled differences in opinions, ideas and conflicts and then you observed if your dad was so bossy and your mum so unsubmissive OR did they both had a respectable pattern to carefully bring up their different ideas and work on a solution together?

What would you have done as a man or lady if you were faced with similar challenges in your own home? Can you say I think Dad or Mum's  actions where superb and I would like to imbibe that culture or did you conclude that...No, they didn't act well. I wouldn't want to pick up this trait?

The list of examples I could give actually goes on and on. I am not saying you would face same issues don't get me wrong...they just might be similar. 

Personally, I feel exposure to the running of our parents home in time past should be a strong anchor for us to learn from and make quality decisions that would affect our own homes.

Parents please expose your grown children to how you run tough times in the home. Don't just show them the good times (we all know good times are good...you don't have to teach us that). 

You do not have to call your grown kids to sit down and ceremoniously watch you settle some issues. But then I feel it could sometimes be done openly in such a manner your big kids can learn vital tips in handling issues when they finally face similar issues in their own homes.

Please remember that the one (1) to six (6) months counseling religious institutions give intending couples cannot equal the years of lessons your adult children can learn from your own experience. In fact I think it would be more practical, real and less theoretical.

I also believe that when parents sort out issues with the mindset that their adult kids are listening and learning somewhere around the house, they would apply more decorum in handling issues (of course this may not happen in all cases...I mean we are still humans...lol).

But seriously, this action would improve the quality of their own marriage and that of their children in the future. I am a product of open marriage and parenting. I believe it rocks and I believe it is a culture we should imbibe.

Do you agree or disagree with my view on open marriage and parenting? Please share your view in the comment session. I would really love to hear from you.