I am just going to take a break on my past...let's do something different.
Chemistry or compatibility ? Which really matters most in any relationship?
Well....we do have our different views...we all are different homo-sapiens...trust me, we all have had our different exposures and experience that has defined which really matters...so before I get shot by someone for producing a doctrine and saying thats the ladder to successful relationships...I would just take time to air my own view on the subject matter.
Truth is both do matter and are equally as important as the other. It however depends on what you want...short term or long term...this includes the forever long term.
So if it's a short term thing...well...Just base it on chemistry I mean, who doesn't enjoy having fun and moving with the flow. I am just going to be really honest here. I do, really do and I am sure you do too so far you are still human. We all know how the chemistry at the early phase of a relationship can be. So I wouldn't spend much time explaining the known...lol. So compatibility would be of little or no importance if you wouldn't really want to be together with your partner in the long term.
But long term?...hell yes....embrace that detail...infact, on a scale of 10. Keep compatibility at 7 and chemistry at 3 if need be. I am not saying you can't have both...at 7. In-fact if you did, thats really priceless so please hold on very tight to what you have got. Good things are very rare to come by this days. You wouldn't want to mess with it.
However what I mean right here is if you had to choose for a long term relationship between case 1 and case 2 below;
Case 1: chemistry to compatibility ratio of 7:3 and
Case 2: chemistry to compatibility ratio of 3:7
I would stick with case 2. Infact, I wouldn't trade it for anything because It is easier to build up chemistry than it is to build on compatibility. Correct me if I am wrong, that is just my view point though.
Back in the days before love became a criteria for marriage, a man would get married to a woman he barely knew. The man knew his roles and did it while the woman knew hers and kept by it....and so they lived happily ever after. We had the lowest cases of divorce back in those days. I want to believe this two strangers later built on their chemistry in the marriage and of course they actually did not even have any other option. They would have to discuss about raising the kids, what food would be prepared for lunch etc.
But in our days, these days to be precise, we go for the most interesting, most funny, most handsome/beautiful or the "you should see the way we flow phrase" and forget the main thing which is "how compatible your ideas, views on life, views on raising a family etc is" and then we dwell richly on chemistry that research has proven to have a maximum life span of 36 months before reality sets in.
Don't get it twisted, chemistry makes you happy...I mean the dopamine , serotonin hormone and the other love hormones would make us feel high and in love which is great. Infact, we need it to feel happy and also need a bit of it to kick start any relationship. I would even sincerely work on it if I did not have chemistry with my partner. But I also do know that compatibility would make one joyful (and that's a deeper level of a long term happiness that I wouldn't trade for anything).
Enough of the analysis...lol. All I am trying to say is that "I did rather be with a "so not it" partner WHO IS WILLING TO CONSCIOUSLY HAVE us work on our chemistry...and that is not going to be a cheap work either" so far we are really compatible THAN be with the interesting dude with which I have got the flow for with little or no compatibility. But if you do have a him or her with a 100% pass mark on both sides....You are excellently blessed among humans....lol.
That's just a chip of my mind on this subject matter.
What do you feel about it?
No comments:
Post a Comment