Saturday, 8 July 2017

Wife Submit to Your Husband or Husband Love Your Wife. Which is Tougher ?

"Wife submit to your husband or "husband love your wife"...which really is tougher?? OK...I know deep down you must have responded with the "wives submit to your husband phrase". Fair enough, it is actually not easy to lay down your desires, wants and needs as the case may be as a woman. I mean we are all humans and we all enjoy doing what makes us happy (who doesn't). Infact, when I was younger, I used to always say that Male and female were formed the same way so there was no way I was going to accept one gender boss over the other....lol (Yes I was seriously angry with all the men in the world).

Well needless to say...the issue of "woman submission" is well flogged. I mean they lay so much emphasis on this already. Yes, we hear the theory of wives having to submit everywhere. In some serious cases, some women are not even allowed to lead or come up with useful suggestions for the growth and development of the family ( I mean who are you to that when you told to submit yourself).

Please try not to get me wrong...I am 100% in support of wives submitting to their husbands. It is obviously impossible for two people to drive a car at the same time. As a matter of fact, I personally cannot stand a man who can not actively be at the forefront in handling family affairs because as a woman, I was not created to be the leader (at least the stress was lifted off the shoulders of women way back from creation...lol).

So with that clarified, my only amazement or should I say concern lies in the fact that very little or no emphasis is placed on the role of the man "Husbands love your wife" (seriously, even most leaders never really educate future husbands on what this entails).

In my own point of view, I believe "Husbands love your wife" is the tougher of the two. How you may ask...well I would try to explain it as best as I can. So What exactly is this love duty bestowed on a husband? Please cut off some crappy definitions of love we usually give.
The true definition of the love a man was charged to give his wife is no joke. In fact, I have also gotten to know that "loving your wife" is much more work than "submitting to your husband" (as usual  the harder work is always left for the men).

So here is what loving your wife entails. Love is patient (this means that when your wife starts her impatient complaint...yea sometimes female creatures can be very annoying like that) you are to remain calm and in control (no hitting, no insults etc). This shows that way back from the days of old, a woman has been known to exhibit traits that would require patience (serious one) and that was why e man was given the responsibility to love (remain patient).

Love is also kind (that means you should be kind to your wife at all times) what is kindness? Help her, assist her, be there for her as a husband...you name all those little things that actually sound unimportant but actually depicts true kindness.

Love is also not envious (should in case your wife becomes very successful...would you tell her to quit that business or job simply because you may be slightly jealous and cannot stand her being as equally successful as you are?)

Love does not boast neither is it proud (yes...as a husband, you do not have to keep repeating how much money you spend in taking care of the home and her inclusive in case you have a wife that is not working. Do not make her feel like a piece of trash). Simply put, love does not dishonour others.

Love is also not self seeking (so it's more like a man is commanded to do what makes his significant other happy rather. A man should not be self centred that he becomes caught up with pursuing his own desires/ needs. In other word he must work at putting his wife's happiness first...sad but true, the "husband love your wife" phrase just happens to be this deep gentle man).

Love is also not easily angered (I won't even lie...your wife would do so many annoying thing and you would just wonder what exactly is controlling her at that point in time) but it remains a duty for a husband to remain calm and be in control (you are told to resist any form of physical or emotional abuse at such trying moments...lol) at least that's if you are a husband fulfilling his own part of the deal.

The man is further told that the love he is to have for his wife should never delight in evil. This love always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres and also keeps no record of wrongs. This simply means that a husband must learn to trust his wife (don't suspect her of cheating on you with that cute guy in her office simply because they are in friendly terms and you are slightly insecure about it). You are also compelled to forgive and forget her wrongs as a husband (don't keep track of the number of times she has mistakenly put excess salt or pepper in your soup...lol).

The deepest part about this love a man is to have for his wife is the fact that his love must never fail (oh boy, don't even try to say you have fallen out of love with your wife as a husband...lol) it says prophecies would fail but the calling of love a husband is to showcase to his wife is compelled to live for ever ( till death do you part in this case that is, come what may happen...what she does or doesn't do...divorce is not an option...that is, it is your job as the husband and leader to have you both work on it...guide her...correct her...change also if need be in securing that you fulfil your part of the deal). Remember love never fails and as a husband you are to love.

I do hope the society expatiates on these teachings someday and equally educate both parties on the depth of duty expected from both parties. Trust me if both parties are equally taught to fulfil their own part of the contract (and not just the one sided teaching the society dwell on this days), we would have much more happier homes. So before you kneel down and give that lady an engagement ring, ask yourself if you are really ready to do the serious work love entails (forget about the rosy feelings in your stomach) and ask her if she is willing to submit to your leadership for the rest of her life.

So at this point I ask again, which is the tougher of the two, "wives submit to your husbands" or "husbands love your wife" ?

2 comments:

  1. Lovely piece. I totally agree that husbands love your wife is tougher. In marriage sometimes the love isn't growing I think both parties get to a point of just being comfortable with each other.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow...That point of complacency. That is why we must learn to be sensitive enough to detect that stage in our unions and deliberately put in effort to spice up things at that point in time.

    ReplyDelete

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